May 2024: Tubi Guy

Tubi Guy toobin

This is the month that Tubi became my go-to streaming service. It is my bullshit of choice, above all the services I actually pay for. I can’t stop toobin. I won’t stop toobin. Being the huge merch mark that I am I’ve started perusing embarrassing Tubi enthusiast shirts that will announce to everyone I am indeed a dyed-in-screen press Tubi Guy.

I ignored the free with ads streaming app for years thinking it was something like an online version of the old bargain DVD bin at Wal-Mart, filled with options cheap enough to get my deal loving juices flowing but that I really have no interest in. I dabbled with other free with ads options like Crackle, Freevee, and, in a moment of desperation, Samsung TV (I’m not proud). Their jankiness was overwhelming. I thought Tubi would be too.

Then a friend recommended The Prisoner, a trippy spy show from the 1960’s, which I found available only on Tubi. I downloaded the app and opted out of creating an account, a thrill all its own in this era of SIGN UP AND TELL US WHO YOU ARE NOW GOD DAMMIT. The interface was pleasant, the welcome jingle was cute, and I saw right away there were plenty of other juicy fishes swimming around this content sea. The Prisoner wasn’t for me after the first couple eps, but I haven’t looked away from Tubi since. Here’s a list of things I toobed this month:

• The Prisoner

• Tango & Cash

• Life

• Tombstone

• Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)

• Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

• Annunaki (Like many streaming services Tubi is overflowing with conspiracy theory documentary content presented as real journalism. Have you noticed crack-pot conspiracy theories framed as academic education are now a normal part of mainstream entertainment? Probably fine!)

• They Live

• A Brief Encounter

Look at these whims! Really, what makes Tubi feel good and different is the lack of curation. Unlike its pay-to-play competitors, Tubi does not have a big strong algorithm leading me around, showing me what it thinks I will or should desire in that moment. Tubi puts the big titles up front but mostly it’s just a bunch of stuff to peruse. In that sense it reminds me of the lost pleasure of wandering around a video rental store looking at movie covers until the right one would catch my eye. Despite what we’ve been led to believe, the algorithms can not actually know us. Maybe Tubi is the new Blockbuster.

(Complete digression, I still remember certain movie covers from hours spent wandering video store aisles. Some designs always captivated me. Like this one:

Here’s another one that stopped little Seth in his tracks every time:

And one for the road:

I thought this was porn.)

I love the categories on Tubi. Some are unusually helpful for finding something decent to put on, like “Highly Recommended By Rotten Tomatoes.” Others are hilarious, like “Wild Beast Escapades,” “Redemption Through Boxing,” and “Bake N’ Stream.” Whoever is in charge of naming categories at Tubi is having a ball and absolutely crushing it.

One last Tubi-tug: It is the best for finding something you are interested enough to put on but won’t necessarily mind not finishing. That is a desire I haven’t felt able to satisfy since getting rid of cable.

Send me your Tubi recs.

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